Annoying Things Parents Say to their Children
“Clean your room, wash your plate, don’t stay up late”… are statements you hear at home almost everyday and drive you insane. Regardless of age, whether your parents are young and cool or traditional, we always have issues with them. It’s normal to have different points of view with the people who brought us to life, whether we live under the same roof or visit them from time to time. I’m sure you’re thinking: “Parents don’t understand”. We’ve all been there, it will get better trust me. Some statements are insane, some are annoying and others are just ridiculous , but all just stick in our mind.
1- “You’d better do what I tell you or else…”
When you don’t want to go to a family lunch at your grandparents coz you don’t feel like sitting with your annoying cousins, and you insist on staying home, you receive all kinds of threats from your parents, like “Don’t even dream of going to your friend’s party” or ” forget about your birthday gift”
Advice: Folks, it’s normal for the kids to loose interest in going to family gatherings, we’ve been there. But threats don’t work nowadays, especially that the kids are more mature than us when we were their age, don’t ask me why, but it’s true. You have to bargain with them.
2- “Why can’t you be more like (name)’s daughter”
Just when you are trying your best to succeed in school or university, your parents are never satisfied with your results and always wanting more. All they do is complain and compare you to their friend’s geek daughter.
Advice: If the child is trying hard, regardless of age, don’t compare them to anyone, it will lower their self-confidence. Always try to push them to do better, but don’t let them hear those words, even if you think about it and wish your children to be like the other successful kids.
3- “You think you’re smart? Let me show you how to do it”
When you argue about something relating to technology and try to convince them, your parents feel old-school and won’t accept the fact. So they degrade you by telling you “don’t think that you’re smarter than me”
Advice: Ok, kids sometimes make you feel stupid and unknowledgeable when it comes to technology. You feel old for this stuff. But try to be more understanding. They see you as old-school, yes, and you should understand that. Negotiate with them, let them explain their point of view, try out what they are advising you. Face it, they ARE better than us when it comes to electronics.
“When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying it PLEASE FORGET”
4- “What’s wrong with you? You’re going to give me a heart attack”
Your mother is doing the housework, you are watching TV or playing on your mobile when she gets mad that nobody helps her, claiming that you are lazy for not fixing your room, not cleaning your laundry, even your plate stays on the table when you finish eating. (Frankly, she’s got a point here)
Advice: I’m a mom and I know how kids are nonchalant these days. All they do is spend all their time on their mobile or computers. But you should know that you can’t raise them these days the way our parents did. Remember, we didn’t have any of those distractions, we used to help our mothers at home coz we had time for it. I’m not saying let it be, but don’t insist too much. There are always clever, maybe sleazy ways to teach them how to take care of their stuff.
5- “Ask your mom; ask your dad”
Your friend is throwing a party at her house, you want to go, everyone is going to be there. You ask your mother, she doesn’t want to take the responsibility, she throws it on your dad. You go to you dad, he doesn’t feel like thinking, no time for that, he sends you to your mother. Time is ticking and your parents are still throwing you back and forth. So annoying, my parents used to do this with me, I hated it.
Advice: What I do with my kids is asking them for some time to think about it to discuss it with my husband alone and agree on it together. Or I tell them to mention it in front of their father when I’m present so that we discuss the pros and cons of the party, that’s if I’m against it. If I have no problem with their program, I agree and try to convince my husband if he’s against it.
6- “You can’t do anything right”
You failed in one course, or you were helping your father with some repairs and you broke something. First think you hear is “you can’t do anything right”. You think “maybe he’s right, I’m not good in anything” coz you’re disappointed with yourself for failing him and making him hype.
Advice: Alright, I get you Duke. I would have thought of something similar coz I’ll be so mad too. But all I say to my kids is to just leave me alone, it’s fine, I don’t need anything anymore, I’ll fix the rest, not to worry, all will be fine, but please next time pay more attention.
7- “I do everything for you”
You want some money to get this trendy but expensive dress you saw at the mall with your friend, but your parents find it silly to pay that much for such a thing. You end up accusing them of not sacrificing for you and forbidding you from being happy. But hearing this sentence from them make you feel ashamed of yourself for taking their money. You can’t wait to start a job and earn your own money to feel independent.
Advice: Parents, it’s true, we perform a lot for our kids, but everything? really? I don’t think so. We still live our lives whenever we can. Surely our kids come first, but that doesn’t mean that we are 100% devoted. So you can tell your child that you’re there for them as much as you can, but don’t brag about it.
8- “B is good, but A is better; not good enough”
You worked your best to get a good grade. You got a B, you’re so happy about it, it’s a B, you never expected to get such a grade which you consider good. You can’t wait to tell your parents. At home, all you hear is “B is fine, but wish you got an A”. That’s so disappointing!
Advice: Some encouragement people. If your kid is a C student, then B is amazing. Unless they are an A student and got a B, then you’re right. I know every parent wishes his kid to be the best. But this attitude won’t help. Even if they will graduate first in their class, but I’m sure they will end up having some personality disorders that will reflect on their attitudes later.
9- “Don’t you have a mirror in your room? Don’t eat that, you’ll get fat”
You love your mom’s food, can’t wait to taste her chocolate cake. But after sweets come salty, popcorn will do. All you hear at home is “stop eating”, “aren’t you looking at the mirror lately?” “you’re getting fat”. And you think: just get off my back, I want to enjoy my life.
Advice: Your mother see what you can’t see. ok, her way of advising you is wrong, but she might have a point. And parents, don’t be rude if you’re right. Try not to tempt your kids if you want them to watch their diet. And don’t be blunt. This will increase their desire to go against you, thus eating more and getting more fat because you disagree.
“Everybody knows how to raise children except the people who have them” – PJ. O’Rourke
10- “Where were you when I was a kid- When I was your age,…”
You are tired of throwing the garbage, or don’t feel like hiking or jogging. Your father can’t stop himself from saying: “When I was your age, I walked thousands of miles in nature, I played basketball everyday, I studied all day, I woke up at 5.” You feel you just want to vanish.
Advice: Most kids these days are lazy, but that doesn’t mean that we can compare them to us. Each one of us has his own character. If you were energetic and enthusiastic, it’s not a general rule that your kid should necessarily be like you. He is born this way. Try to tempt him to do those things, but don’t bore him with your accomplishments.
11- “As long as you’re under my roof, you follow my rules”
As an adolescent or even older, you argue with your parents, you shout at each other, each one wants to prove his point, everyone is right. You want to stay out late, they want you back early. The first thing that comes out of your parents’ mouth is ” you live under my roof, you live with my rules.” You can’t stop thinking of the moment when you finish your studies, start work, earn money and leave that house.
Advice: We as parents think that way, and we say it out of anger, kids really trigger us. Let’s try to skip that sentence; don’t you want your kids and grandkids to visit you frequently in the future?
12- “You’re just like your mother/father”
When parents say this, they definitely don’t mean it positively. You must be behaving in an unfavorable manner. Keep in mind that a fight between your parents must have preceded this sentence, and one is annoyed from the other, this is why this sentence popped up out of nowhere.
Advice: Better say that sentence positively more than in negative moments. Kids don’t appreciate you saying bad things about the other parent. They will put in their mind that you might separate, obliging them to take a side, thus stressing them out.
13- “You can’t do it”
I know you try hard sometimes to achieve your goal and please your parents, and sometimes you are faced with defeat. What you hate most is hearing your parent reassuring you, in your face, that you can’t make it. This lowers your self-esteem and diminishes your confidence. You will soon believe that they are right and thus stop trying.
Advice: Don’t ever say this to your child, no matter how old they are. It’s as if you’re saying you don’t believe in them. They must feel your love for them, they must know you trust them. This will encourage them to thrive for their target.
“Every time I say “NO”, my kid hears, “ask again, she didn’t understand the question”
14- “You’re stupid”
When your parents are irritated from your behavior, all you hear is disparaging words from them. These words will linger in your ears, ignoring everything else said. Your mind is blocked, you will never forget it.
Advice: your child not only will feel his self-esteem going down the drain, but eventually will not listen to what you want anymore and will take it for granted.
15- “If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?”
You just want to go for a ride for few hours with the gang, it’s just a ride. No one is jumping off a cliff.
Advice: Say it a lot, you won’t be taken seriously. Oh, and you’ll be lied to in the future.
16- “Study hard. If you study you do better”
No sh*t Sherlock! parents think they invented the rocket when they say study hard. As if you don’t want to study hard. But how to do that? That’s the problem.
Advice: Parents, you’re right, if they study hard they reach high goals, we call this logic. But we all know the problem lies in finding the means to study hard. Wish we had some kind of potion that helps kids focus more on their studies. That would be something!
There are other statements we parents also use (which we are sometimes right about) that turn out to be annoying to our child:
1- I’m the adult here
2- Have you done your homework?
3- Eat your whole plate
4- Have you washed your hands before sitting at the table?
5- It’s bedtime
6- Listen to me carefully
7- Don’t talk with your mouth full
8- Go take your shower!
9- Shut up! I’m trying to listen to the news
10- Do you have homework?
11- Don’t be dramatic!
12- Who even asked you?
13- Why are you still awake?
14- Because I said so
15- Your parents know better
16- You’re too young to understand
17- Who are you texting?
18- What are you doing?
19- Don’t argue with me
20- Remove your headphones
I’m a parent and my kids are now in their 20s. They experienced all kinds of annoying statements from us. Now that they became older and independent, they told us what annoyed them. Now I know why my parents used to say it and how they felt. And so, I’m passing it on to you. There are a lot more than these, but these are the ones I truly knew about.
Once I was a kid and heard all these statements, and now I’m a parent and say all these statements. It’s a funny, funny cycle!
Fix your mistakes and you might be lucky not to be the one with the grumpy, whiny kid.
I’m sure there are a lot more. Let me know about it. It might help us all to improve!