How to Get Over a Breakup
Getting over a breakup? You may think you’ll never make it, but you will.
Loosing a partner who’s also your friend and confident after being together for a while is hard to generate. You feel as if it’s the end of your happy days, and you wonder how will your life be without them. Breakups can be heavy to deal with, especially during lockdown. You can’t spend some time out with the ladies for a change, you can’t ask your friend to come over and watch a movie to forget your grief.
Although some might find it easy to get over a breakup, you might be among those who don’t know how to get over the pain, whether your heart was broken or you got dumped. Here are some ideas you might want to consider.
Forget the friendship after a breakup:
If he broke up with you because he’s “not getting along with you anymore (“it’s not you, it’s me”), tell him to eliminate the idea of being friends after the breakup. You’re not OK about him breaking your heart which is hardly beating now. It’s better if you don’t know anything about him. Forget it! It’s a total wreck.
Stop checking his social media:
You will definitely be checking his status and pictures every ten minutes to know if he’s aching like you or if he moved on, with who he’s going out, how is he doing without you. Bu doing that, you will be living the real stress. You can’t just say: I’m going to stop checking on him. You just can’t. The best way to do that is to gather your strength and delete his contact from all your social media apps. Follow the French Proverb: “Far from the eyes, far from the heart”
Don’t underestimate reminders:
Reminders are similar to social media. Don’t underestimate the power of your phone calendar every time it rings to remind you of your yearly anniversary or of his birthday (although you don’t need to be reminded of these special dates). Delete everything on your phone that might remind you of him.
Write a list of his cons:
Think of his bad habits. Write on a piece of paper all the things you hate about him and why you must be glad it’s over. Remember that time you were together and he looked at a passing woman with a smiley face? When he didn’t want to go out with your friends coz he doesn’t like their company much, when he forgot to ask about your job interview because he was too busy. Just remember anything annoying about him that comes to mind. And YES, he DOES have bad habits, everybody does. Don’t say he’s just perfect, nobody is!
Let your feelings out:
It’s ok to cry and shout at yourself in the mirror the first few days. Let your feelings out. Don’t convince yourself that you’re strong and you shouldn’t cry, that you can get over him in no time. Bionic woman exists only in movies. We all have a heart that suffered from a breakup especially if it wasn’t our choice. Eventually, you will get over him. Just let go of your feelings, cry, shout, sing, some people sing and dance on loud music to let out their rage ONLY for few days. Don’t take long to realize that you have a new routine now and you should go with it. I know someone who puts too much makeup on her face to get over her sadness, worth trying!
Get in touch with old friends:
You need something new in your life to distract you from thinking of him and the special moments between you two. You now have time for old friends that you wished to get in touch with before. This will add some excitement to your days. Believe me, only the memories remain.
Visualize your coming days:
Now that you’re single again, think of the things you can do. You can subscribe to this Salsa class which he didn’t want you to join, or catch up with some people he preferred you not hanging out with, or maybe even relax at home without anyone nagging at you. You’re free for the time being, you’re the master of your own decisions, take advantage of that.
Blame him for the breakup:
Don’t ever blame yourself for the breakup. If you got dumped for wanting a serious commitment, that doesn’t mean that you’re wrong. That’s who you are, and there’s nothing you can change. If your were cheated on, don’t blame yourself for his actions. Think of what he’s going to miss, he’s the looser. You did everything you can to keep him happy, he doesn’t deserve you.
“One day, they’ll realize they lost a diamond while playing with worthless stones”
Expand your dating agenda:
Now that you’re in for a new fling, you can think of the cute guy you once met. Back then, you were in a relationship and felt that you might be cheating by just thinking of how cute that guy is, and convinced yourself that you’re partner is the one. Now is the time to get back on your feet and take care of yourself again, look self-confident, elegant in your own way, persistent, and persuasive (men like such a woman). Accept party invitations, go to social events, go dancing. Remind yourself that you’re a badass queen!
Spend some time outdoor:
You can’t imagine how magical it is to walk outside in nature, if you’re lucky enough to get the breakup not in winter. The act of walking or jogging in fresh air with nice music helps you clear your mind and gather your thoughts, ride your bike near the lake . Don’t just sit on your couch watching a Rom Com movie, eating ice cream and remembering the good memories with your ex. Go outside, see the world!
Don’t spare your friends:
What are true friends for? If you’re in total lockdown, organize a Zoom meeting with one or more of your friends to talk about your breakup, listen to them swearing at him telling you he doesn’t deserve you. Above all, they will assure you that he was mistreating you and convince you that you will find someone better than him. They will certainly talk about his flaws and tell you he wasn’t the one. This will definitely get you back on your feet in no time. Close friends have a strong effect. You won’t feel alone in this world without him. Believe me it’s so helpful.
Enroll in some activity:
Distract yourself. Going to the gym, subscribing for a fitness or a dance class is a great idea to mingle with others and fill the time you used to have with your ex. You can contribute in volunteer work or learn a new language, Think of a fun hobby you wish to try. You will feel good about yourself and forget all about your heartache.
Don’t underestimate the effect of a bath on your self confidence. By bath I don’t mean take a shower. Pamper yourself with a hot bubbly bath, relax on soft – NOT ROMANTIC – music (“I will survive” is perfect for such occasions) with a glass of your favorite wine, maybe a bottle? A massage is a nice idea.
Give yourself a change:
Some tend to change something in their appearance to forget about their ex. You can dye your hair or cut it. You can get a mani pedi special treatment, paint your nails with daring colors. Go shopping, every woman finds her joy in shopping. Rearrange your furniture, buy something new for your house. Get rid of his stuff. If you watch John Wick or Wonder Woman, you’ll feel good about yourself. Hit something. However, don’t get mixed up and hit someone! Again, stay away from romantic movies, harmful move!
“If you’re a good person, you don’t lose people who leave, they lose you”
Bake some cookies:
If you’re a kitchen lover, distract yourself with baking cookies or any of your favorite desserts. Chocolate is far more exciting and amusing than guys.
Take the dust off your diary:
It’s time to write your journal. Similar to music, writing is a stress relief if you’re an introvert and prefer keeping your problems to yourself. Write whatever you think about in a diary (or a blog), there are no limits for words on paper. It’s up to you to keep it for later (which I don’t advise). After a short while, you can tear it as soon as your feelings are out. It works perfectly for me.
Create new habits:
Forget about Tuesday Taco nights and Friday movies with your ex. Change your habit. Create new traditions to your daily life. Hide everything that reminds you of your ex. Moreover, when you meet up with people don’t let your main subject be about your breakup. Get over it!
“If he is stupid enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go”
Your heart is smashed, you feel dead. Try to meditate, close your eyes, breath slowly. There are always apps for that if you don’t feel like being around people,
Forget about photos:
If he cheated on you, then he’s not worth wasting your time, so stop reviewing your photos together. Delete them from your phone or your laptop. If you prefer keeping track of your memories, save them on an external drive and hide it somewhere hard to reach.
“Out of sight, out of mind”
Take a vacation:
Start dreaming again. If we’re in normal days with no lockdown, take your vacation from work, go somewhere for fun or to relax, whatever helps you forget, alone or with a close friend. Feel free. Convince yourself that you can live without your ex, that you’ll be fine, and you will be. In the end, life goes on.
Avoid a rebound:
It’s true that having a rebound after your breakup boosts your feminine confidence, but it’s called a “rebound”. It’s temporary and ends as soon as it’s over, and later, guilt will reign. On the other hand, if you think there might be a future from a rebound, I tell you it’s so rare to have a serious relationship with a kiss & diss. You’ll end up having your feelings hurt all over again even though you know this will lead to nowhere from the beginning.
They say if you laugh a lot, all your distress will be history. It’s a kind of remedy. You can also seek professional therapy. If I’m the heartbroken, I would definitely try all of these out. In fact, I will try anything that might help me forget. Just remember the saying:
“If you love someone, set him free, if he comes back to you, then he’s yours, if he doesn’t, then he never was.”