Things you Should Never Do in a Relationship

• You wish to have a perfect relationship – Do you really believe there’s a perfect relationship? I don’t!

• You do everything with your partner – it’s good to feel independent sometimes. Remember, you still have your social life. It boosts your self-confidence.

• You involve your partner in all your dreams – But wait! Don’t forget, you still have dreams of your own even if you’re not alone anymore, live it as long as it doesn’t jeopardize your relationship.

• You compare your partner to others – there’s surely better than your partner, but there’s a reason why you chose him.  My partner has flaws, and I don’t remember anymore what were the things which attracted me to him, but the relationship is still going well, so it’s definitely there.

• You change your values to his – Woman, never ever give up your values for anyone, this defines who you are.  Keep your values on one side and love on the other. Differentiate.

• You always agree with what he says – don’t you have an opinion for yourself? You can have your own point of view too.

• You try to fix your partner’s problems – We women usually tend to believe that we can fix any problem, I know it from myself.  When my partner opens up to me about some problem, instead of listening, I start giving advice and arguing about his suggested solutions.  I know I should focus on listening to his problem rather than fixing it.

• You focus on your partner when he’s talking – leave your phone aside! This bad habit became a reflex in most of us.

• You hold yourself from expressing your feelings to your partner – you should tell them how important they are when they deserve to hear it.

• You forget to appreciate them – Thank you is nice to hear.  Gratitude is always a positive part of a relationship.

• You celebrate only the big events – there are nice things to celebrate with your partner other than birthdays and anniversaries: a promotion at work, a new bedroom, maybe getting your kids to sleep early?!

• You hold on to the little things that bother you – don’t swallow your feelings. But you can let go of these small things which irritate you and think of their good qualities, that’s if you want to keep your relationship healthy. This is what I do if I have no other option.

• You eliminate sexy lingerie from your life – It always works with men, even if you’ve been married for a while.  Always keep your sexy lingerie on standby when the flame is off.  Wearing cute jammies is relaxing, but you wouldn’t want to become the cute rabbit to him.

• You criticize and take your partner for granted – The worst thing a partner can do is criticize you and denounce you, so better not do it to him.

• You disrespect your partner – never ever disrespect him.  A man always wants to feel a REAL MAN, you know what I mean!

• You decline from compromising – but why?  It’s nice to compromise, unless he did something unjustifiable.

• Be right all the time – leave this to men, do you want to act like them? Well, I don’t know about your partner, but mine is never wrong!

• You talk bad about his parents/his friends – avoid this, he will hate you for that.

• You talk bad about YOUR parents/YOUR friends – even if you’re holding the grudge for them, hold your horses; Do it in a meek way.  Things will eventually go back to normal between you and them, but your partner will become acrimonious and hate their guts… now tell me what will you do!  

• Be frank with them– if they did something which bothered you, even if it’s going to be a difficult conversation, pull your guts out and talk about it.

• You let the dogs out when you fight – you can fight, fighting is healthy, but don’t just let go of words you might regret later.  Screaming, name calling, swearing (I know, we all do that at some point), should be avoided.  That’s what the book says, but when you lose it, I know you just lose it!

• You let the fight last more than a day – it’s not healthy to avoid communication for a while without confronting each other after a fight.  If they did something awful, I know you’ll hate to see even their shadow, but connection is essential at this stage if you want to keep your relationship going.

• You let silence rule – Communication is the key, just talk about your day, ask about theirs, even if they don’t feel like talking.  There are always strategies for that.

• When things go wrong, you blame him – keep this for my partner, he might blame me for the Hiroshima and Nagasaki atomic bomb someday. 

• You lie to your partner – Ok, what can I say about that, lying in general is wrong.  Just don’t do it.  Better be sincere even if you’ve gone wrong.

• You’re always stressed – I know, we’re all stressed out at some level.  But your partner doesn’t need a relationship with a shrew.  Try your best, maybe they can relieve your stress in a way.

• You refuse third party help – in some cases, you need a third opinion when you’re dealing with a deadlock situation (maybe a couples’ therapy).

• You give up the romance – if you have a lifetime partner, that doesn’t mean you own each other.  Both of you should always try to keep each other satisfied.  Even if it becomes a regular procedure, flaming up the romance from time to time is healthy.

• You forget about the concept of dating – if you have a date night ritual, you shouldn’t give it up.  It’s always nice to live the nice memories. But please, don’t mark your intimate night on the calendar hung on your fridge as if it’s an obligation.

• You cherish the routine – the fact that I’m writing the word I’m disgusted. I hate routine myself, and I always try to come up with ideas to break it between us; a nice candle dinner at home, movie night on your favorite couch with a big bowl of popcorn, a candle scented bath maybe, that would be nice.

• You’re never ready for intimate moments – believe it or not, but keeping up with your partner intimately is an important part of a healthy relationship.  I know we all pass through a “not in the mood” time, but always? Nah, you can break the ice sometimes and avoid a salty figure by your side.  You can always communicate sexually; their fantasies might be pleasing to you.  Try new stuff.  Routine kills the cat.

• You concentrate on your kids more than your relationship – it’s a full time job to be a wife and a mother, but you should try to divide yourself for both; give your kids their time, and your partner theirs.  They both need you. Your kids come first, I agree, but keeping your relationship running smooth gives you the boost to keep up with your kids.  I’ve been there. Wait, I’m still there!

• You live in Lalaland – excuse my french, but winding the horn and belching, even exploring your nose tunnel are habits you should avoid doing in front of your partner.  If you consider that these are part of the relation and that your partner will love you with all your flaws, that doesn’t mean you can let yourself go.  Just do it privately.

• You forget about hygiene – you’re married, not dead.  Your partner still likes to see well fixed nails, clean hair, smell refreshing scents on you. Don’t forget to know down the pine forest. Be sure it also makes YOU feel good.  You’ll always fish for a compliment from them which you might rarely get, but if once your nail is broken or your hair looks hideous, you’ll surely hear their snide remark.

• One last thing I need to mention: food – The key to a man’s heart is his stomach. Avoid ready-made snacks every night and try to impress him with his favorite meal from time to time.

Did any of this every happen with you in your relationship?